Slowly understanding the concept.

So.. lots going on for now. Hmm or maybe not. Lol either way it was a some what fun day. I am upset though that no one makes any comments. Its set up so that everyone who views it could but no one would. LAME!! This was my horoscope It is a great day for romance and passion. Your ability to say what a person wants to hear is at an all-time high. You can use this ability to maneuver toward success and the fulfillment of desires. Pleasure is in the picture. meh who knows what that is talking about?Bladen came this morning with her niece and she interviewed the Grandma cause ah ... She is in a study of love class and she must know how much my grandma loved my grandpa. My friends interviewing her is teaching me so much I never knew. Psh.. the things you learn. I went to the gas station really quick with her which was some fun So then Jesus and I had to hangout to make sure that we weren't forgotten. We ended up stopping by to see Mike cause thats what nice people do. we made sure he felt loved ... or something nice like that. We told him his food sucks and that he should be beat. yeah thats the love we don't hear about all the time in story books. LOL ANYHOW... I got a picture of my Deer friend. Finally it worked. I think maybe its just my computer that is slow but who really knows? Not I. Which also reminds me I think my deer friend is losing track of time and now he no longer spends his time talking to me? how not fair is that. I mean we used to talk all the time these days I would be lucky to get a hello. darn that Shaun bowe. Now going on about the stories from today. While in Taco Bell we saw Bert who's' real name is Rob. Go figure. Lol anyhow... we sat there longer and Erik aka SUNSHINE and his pal walked into our lives for a brief encounter. They said an old man was checking me out eww.We didn't catch his friends name so we tracked him down later in the isle of Walmart. His name tag said Dick and he said it was no joke... so we aren't laughing now and no matter what that is what we are calling the kid. Anyhow he is our new adopted pal.THAT LUCKY FELLOW. Who knows he might take over Mikes spot in the group. Oh NO! Yeah , he sure was nice. After that Amanda not Panda we call her Sky in the purple car now.. she came we went out and about saw the movie The GRUDGE well lets just say INTERESTING stuff. I didn't really get some of the points of it but it did make me laugh and I don't think it was supposed to who really cares though? Yeah .. after that whole thing happen we went and visited Jesus at work because I couldn't talk Mike into going. He so stammered and didn't call and yeah I hope he knows jesus is sending us straight to shell now cause she is disappointed. Makes me feel real scared. Ah but I will forgive him because I am working on my hate issues. After I saw Jesus working .. you know doing the whole turning water into wine bit :/... Sky in the purple car and I went to Tonys house hungout with His mom, Bud and of course MOO aka Tony to play some cards. It was fun even though sky in the purple car won 3 of four times and I won the last time which made me feel so much better than Losing 4 times would have. Lol ..hmm... Then I came home. made my calls and I think I wished most everyone a Happy Halloween and if I didn't ... I am saying it to you now. Tomorrow night is Shaun Collins party and I am so going with Jesus and yeah we are going to be funny. Thats cause we have humor and some people just don't. Anyone know of a family looking to adopt me? Show me extra love and attention cause currently mine keeps leaving me. makes me all sad. Grandma went out to the bar for the night ... she is getting us a motorcycle man. Lol Yeah .. I mean she is out watching uncle's band. which is awesome of her if only I was 21. Freakin ay someday. okay so here is some random things I have wrote before that were on my aim profile but not everyone could read without having aim so psh .. just random stuff..

Do not be there when I want you to be Do not stand there and share these unforgetable moments with me.

I beg and ask you please?

Why would you do this to Me?

You stand there like I don't care

When Really you are just proving life isn't fair.

Don't look at me the way I want you to

Just don't do everything thing you do to me

You make me weak

You make me think

You make me want

and you make me fear

I don't want all that

so don't come near.

Even when it makes me so happy to have you here

I can't take it when you call me dear

When you lean in right

Makes me have to fight

I don't want these feelings

all I want is healing

I am tired of wanting what I can not have

So please...

Don't be there when I want you to be

'Cause I don't want more unforgetable moments with you.

You went away when I needed you most to stay.

You left me here All alone with fear. No I don't wanna play. Not now Not today. You make me tired I am going to inspire... You to become a liar. PLEASE? Tell me a lie so I won't cry. No I don't wanna play Not now Not today.

Thoughts of you even though we are through

If I would have realized my fate from that first date.

Forever I am doomed sitting here all alone in this room.

The freezing of memories tease me, remembering he pleased me.

Your voice echos still

The begging was a thrill

seeing you gives me a chill

Forever I am doomed

Sitting here all alone in this room

Your taste can not be erased

The touch of your lips on my neck always made me a wreck

Sitting alone in this room I am doomed.

The sensations were a good creation

You leaving was my devasation

"The bliss" was in your kiss

that will always be missed

One touch of your hand here or there turned into affecting me everywhere

Furniture is something ordinary but to me because of you its extraordinary

I am doomed sitting here all alone in this room.

Remember the day you started looking at me that way?

It faded and still

I waited...

Truth is rolling in the leaves at night is the last sign of weakness in sight.

After that we begain to fight.

Which is strange because its always dreams of you at night.

Everytime I see you flee from me

Remembering the moments of us. Makes me hesitate and leave it up to fate.

No longer do I wait.

I see its not fate

All alone in this room

Realizing I have met my doom Its because of me wanting you Even after we are through.

Catching Falling stars..My pockets are full..The sky is empty and so am I way down deep inside.All you told me was a lie Forever turned into never The star light is not near as bright slowly I am fading out of your sight see you later another bright night.

Its the words you didn't speak That are always here with me.Maybe its because I am weak?The memories of the unspoken intimacy and you loving me.Through all my tears and over coming my fears its still always you here Even when time puts distance that seems like from the Earth to the moon.I know without you I am doomed.
Breathing your breathe Not afraid of death...

Rattle my ratchets and shake my core You could be the one that I have come to adore need you ask for more?

Yeah with all that random stuff you will be busy reading non important things for a minute. While you were distracted you will be happy to know I took it upon myself to take all your money and run. If you had no money to start out with that means I took your pocket lint cause thats what good people do. he he that along with Loving you its a hard life but someone has to do it. Okay so I have to go.. .If only I was able to I would stop to visit mike again but its not really working out like I plan. Oh and we get to change our clocks. So good night you. Love~Ruth