3 little words

Guys sadly I am still not really going many places. I'm busy doing nothing of importance and its driving me insane. I've spent sometime catching up with a few "OLD" friends. Lol we are only in our 20s so how old could they be?
Anyways catching up with old friends I realize how much time does change so many things but yet the important ones stay the same. Sometimes people seem almost as if they've avoided the change all together. I'd like to be one of those people. To be untouched by time almost makes you untouchable all together. In ways its unpersonal like maybe if you distance yourself from people you care about you will only know their surface characteristics and then they will always appear unaltered to you because there personality appears the same from a distance. Meh ... who knows ?? I am just rambling here.
I am currently awaiting to chat with someone I didn't realize ment so much still. I mean once I've begain caring about someone that part of you never really goes away no matter how much you try to hide it or distance yourself there is always a curious part of your heart that jumps back and makes you hesitate to ask what there life without me has been like? sometimes you hope it hasn't been anything special without you but most of the time you want the best for them. No matter what you hope they are happy without you and you some how manage to survive. Well reality smacked me around a bit lately to realize maybe sometimes a certain small wish that you never speak comes true and it comes right back at you when you least expect it.
Currently in life I'm boring doing nothing and Smack... there is past reminding me of my wishes from so long ago. Now there is a choice to make between living in the past or the future. Either way its going to be hard because I live in the present and I care about my future. Most of you say automatically take a step forward but sometimes you have to step back to leap forward. Its all just strange but ...

Unexpectedly you could be told three little words which ... honestly seperate they haven't got near as much meaning but all combined to say I LOVE YOU is a huge meaning.
Sadly I am one of those people who rarely says those 3 magic words because its too personal sometimes. How could you say such words and it not mean much?
Normally if its spoken from my mouth its oh I love you in the way of your such a good little friend and I love you like a friend. Which hey I would give the world to my friends cause they mean so much but ... I love you in way that you're the only one for me and I can't survive without you by my side has never once been spoken by me. Even if I have once felt that close saying it is a whole different ball game.
So I am baffled because last night I was unexpectedly told I love you by a good friend which was not strange until it got a whole new meaning on top of it. I love you and you're the girl for me? Thats a bit much.
I honestly didn't expect it at all and now I am still trying to rationalize was it the painkillers I took making me delirious or was that for real?
I do care about this person but I've never thought that the feelings were at all headed in that direction on his behalf?
Its a complicated little situation I've found myself in because I wasn't at all ready for that and honestly there is more than just us involved. so yeah ... lol what to do I am unsure of at the moment but maybe sometime I will figure it out.
Good news ... I can kinda use my foot more. Its still hurting like a mother but .. I think its gonna be okay. I have some cheesy book from my grandma to read. I feel bad I was like I am bored just get a book or something and she couldn't really find much besides cheesy romance novels which I really kinda hate lol. Instead she got some book about friendship or something. She was trying so the least I can do is attempt to read it with some kind of serious face.