Happy Merry Late Christmas!

Well Christmas was some fun. We got to all be together just like we thought we wouldn't. ha ha! Anyhow.. all my family came here for Christmas Eve and it was really amazing cause I mean it just was awesome. Then after that Richard took Ren, Heath and I to just drive around and some stranger gave me a cool black rose. It was pretty neat. Then after that happen we went to the park where Heath and Ren knocked each other down in the snow it was classic. Once we came home Ren and I spent most of the night playing old school nintendo. It was really great. we didn't wake up on Christmas til about 10:30 er after which was nice. I got to sleep in. YAY! We waited for my Mom to show up then we opened gifts. I was really just excited to give Jenny hers... So we went and had alot of fun at the Bagleys house. We all just hungout and did nothing for the evening. It was rather great. After that we came home to just hangout again with the family. Last night Jenny Hicks and I decided to go run around the town once I had given her the new car cd player. It was really some fun. In the process we dropped off Shaun Bowe's gift just because we can. lol I tried to chuck it out the car window but he wasn't standing outside in the snow for some reason. Once we left that place we went to Mike Grimms to see what the plan was. Well it made me laugh alot just because we were all out of ideas and decided to go sledding for no apparent reason. We bought these small things that look like giant circles and we decided we had to sled down a hill. we did just that. We froze we got hurt and we had alot of fun. After I beat them in sled racing they decided we better be going cause it was bitter cold. So we tried to leave just in time to find out that Jenny had lost her keys? how lame is that. we had to go back and fetch some keys in the snow. After Jenny and I ditched Mike finally we went and bought some beef jerky, a dvd and perfume. Wow what a choice. At 6 in the am Ren and I were finally starting to sleep just in time for me to get up at ten to call jenny. Well this morning I was kinda dragging and my leg felt like I was going to lose it while walking. Lol. Hmm.. so it turned out I had to get my act together just in time for us to go to a see Ocean's 12 at the local movie theater. Once we did that it was back at the old home for me. I have been here since but I feel rather icky. I have no idea what from. Yuck though. Shaun collins stopped by to give me my Christmas gift which was really great of him. He didn't have to do that but he did. I just think he is awesome and I am so glad he is my friend. Jesus is gone in the boot state. Jenny and I are supposed to go see Mustard Plug and then to club for concerts on Thursday and Friday nights. It might be a little bit of fun. So ... I must get going cause I am typed out. So .. Later gator~Ruth aka Ninja

ps.12-21-04
There is always that one
One who makes your heart beat
Shows you that you are alive
They make you want to strive

That one
is the one that will always have a grip on you
No matter how hard you try
Its going to be that way Til you die.
My heart beats slowly now that he is gone
My words know no music to make a song
I know that this feeling I have now is wrong
Its still been so long since he went away
Can you believe it I have been counting the days
408 As of today.
Wonder if you can remember that date?
Yup since then its all been lies of hate
I miss you day after day after day
I can't ever believe you made me this way
I most of the time feel so dead inside
When I just see you once in awhile it makes me smile
and I know then I am still alive
My heart beats catch up with the rest of me
I then can see
All I have done since you left is grief

I lost more than a part of me
I lost all of YOU
Alone with only my memories
Thats what you left to be with me
I am content
Knowing that this time of mine was well spent
Even though I can type or write all these things
I can only do this because I know you are gone
You took flight already and grew your own wings
I also know chances are you won't see what is still before you
If you do it will be too late or most likely you will feel oppisite
With you I was the me I wanted to be
Though my heart is growing very weak
It still occasionally beats
Spending time with Deep sarrow I remember there still is a tomorrow.





Why you will be forgetting.
Everytime your finger traces the outline of her face
A part of us has been erased.
Everytime you kiss her lips
A part of us slips
When she is near
We are left with Fear
That once sweet taste
fades to a bitter waste
your mind fills with dreams of her
Not leaving anything to remind you of what we were
everytime you see her face
Another part of us has been erased
The touch of her skin
shows that she will win
Your heart starts to beat
when you hear her feet
when you don't make her cry
It won't remind you how we died
The sound of her voice whispering your name
makes blood run faster through your veins
whatever the reason
you begain a whole new season
Everytime you see her face
More of us has been erased
Soon I will know I have been replaced.