Ha ... SOMETHING REAL...
Hey Readers... All One of you.
Ha... This better be good enough for now because I am dead tired and going to work bright and early. Well you want something real but I am not sure how real I am these days.
What can I say? Things are adding up but I am not the one with any answers as always.
First off my life is mostly boring with Work. Yes thats right did I mention it once again?? Thats like 3492432 times that I have brought it up lately. Its only because when you put in way more than 40 hours a week and try to have a social life all you end up with is Dark Circles under your eyes, people telling you hey your not fun anymore and no money with all this physical labor. What the shell? I guess Work isn't the Top Priority of many Americans but it is for this one!! I have not been getting much if any sleep lately and the last thing a person loves to hear all the time is GEE YOU LOOK TIRED!! Everytime I hear that it makes me want to just go all ape on people and poke out their eyes. Then say gee you look blind.
Work is harsh sometimes. It seems I have been getting yelled at alot lately. I mean I haven't a clue sometimes that I am doing things wrong and I don't mind my bosses telling me and saying hey this is the correct way of doing things which ... only makes you better. Instead I just get talked down to a rather large amount of times lately and it makes me bitter. I am going to admit I am not happy when that happens. I just feel like I am stuck in a bubble of negative people who really could care less if you are someone who like to be respected. Its just how society works now I guess. Look here theres someone making less money than me they must not know as much as what I do so... Its my job to inform them that they are less. Well guess what buddy what goes around comes around and if you think I am giving up that easily on it you can just roll over and die cause its not going to happen like that.
So did I mention that Choir I joined. Its mad crazyness hanging out with those older women sometimes. YIKES why do older women always have to pretend they like you until you say something that they don't like then there is no forgiveness. I mean for crying out loud just because you don't wear fake eyelashes and draw on your eyebrows it doesn't make you any less of a great show choir people than the rest of them... For real though this choir is one of the TOP NOTCH DEALS and any moment I am waiting for something to happen where I mess it up and become unable to preform with them. They are like my too good to be true deal. I just can't believe that they wanted little ol' me. I am so honored though.
In one day I can have a million things to do and finish them all and still go to bed and feel unaccomplished. I have no want to continue these patterns in the morning but because I am used to it I continue my misery. Don't take it the wrong way. I know how to make things fun and I know how to make more things happen but I am just still not satisfied with all the results currently.
I am surrounded by a bunch of people but yet I am standing all alone. Its always the same. I am the one who is always there for everyone else but ... where are the people for me?? Its lonely no matter how many times you repeat the same days. Its still lonely when you wake up,sleep, work and play. It doesn't matter sometimes if you are in a room full of all sorts of people. The only one in the middle is still ME! On certain days I love to be standing all alone in a big empty room just by myself. Most often these days though I wish I was off to the side casually mixing with the other people and just had a few people to crowd around me and include me.
I think I deserve much more than what I have already. I am hoping to change so much one day but I am always afraid ... Here I will be repeating the same mistakes twice and just not learning enough to grow into something wonderful.
Well this isn't too many ramblings... but enough to where I am LEAVING. Have a great night.-Ruth
FLIPPIN AY AND ITS FREEZING COLD IN HERE THAT SNOW IS JUST UNCALLED FOR!!
Ha... This better be good enough for now because I am dead tired and going to work bright and early. Well you want something real but I am not sure how real I am these days.
What can I say? Things are adding up but I am not the one with any answers as always.
First off my life is mostly boring with Work. Yes thats right did I mention it once again?? Thats like 3492432 times that I have brought it up lately. Its only because when you put in way more than 40 hours a week and try to have a social life all you end up with is Dark Circles under your eyes, people telling you hey your not fun anymore and no money with all this physical labor. What the shell? I guess Work isn't the Top Priority of many Americans but it is for this one!! I have not been getting much if any sleep lately and the last thing a person loves to hear all the time is GEE YOU LOOK TIRED!! Everytime I hear that it makes me want to just go all ape on people and poke out their eyes. Then say gee you look blind.
Work is harsh sometimes. It seems I have been getting yelled at alot lately. I mean I haven't a clue sometimes that I am doing things wrong and I don't mind my bosses telling me and saying hey this is the correct way of doing things which ... only makes you better. Instead I just get talked down to a rather large amount of times lately and it makes me bitter. I am going to admit I am not happy when that happens. I just feel like I am stuck in a bubble of negative people who really could care less if you are someone who like to be respected. Its just how society works now I guess. Look here theres someone making less money than me they must not know as much as what I do so... Its my job to inform them that they are less. Well guess what buddy what goes around comes around and if you think I am giving up that easily on it you can just roll over and die cause its not going to happen like that.
So did I mention that Choir I joined. Its mad crazyness hanging out with those older women sometimes. YIKES why do older women always have to pretend they like you until you say something that they don't like then there is no forgiveness. I mean for crying out loud just because you don't wear fake eyelashes and draw on your eyebrows it doesn't make you any less of a great show choir people than the rest of them... For real though this choir is one of the TOP NOTCH DEALS and any moment I am waiting for something to happen where I mess it up and become unable to preform with them. They are like my too good to be true deal. I just can't believe that they wanted little ol' me. I am so honored though.
In one day I can have a million things to do and finish them all and still go to bed and feel unaccomplished. I have no want to continue these patterns in the morning but because I am used to it I continue my misery. Don't take it the wrong way. I know how to make things fun and I know how to make more things happen but I am just still not satisfied with all the results currently.
I am surrounded by a bunch of people but yet I am standing all alone. Its always the same. I am the one who is always there for everyone else but ... where are the people for me?? Its lonely no matter how many times you repeat the same days. Its still lonely when you wake up,sleep, work and play. It doesn't matter sometimes if you are in a room full of all sorts of people. The only one in the middle is still ME! On certain days I love to be standing all alone in a big empty room just by myself. Most often these days though I wish I was off to the side casually mixing with the other people and just had a few people to crowd around me and include me.
I think I deserve much more than what I have already. I am hoping to change so much one day but I am always afraid ... Here I will be repeating the same mistakes twice and just not learning enough to grow into something wonderful.
Well this isn't too many ramblings... but enough to where I am LEAVING. Have a great night.-Ruth
FLIPPIN AY AND ITS FREEZING COLD IN HERE THAT SNOW IS JUST UNCALLED FOR!!
posted by Ninja at 2/06/2006 12:08:00 AM
3 Comments:
Thata girl, let it all out or at least some of it.
You know I can understand the bubble and the being alone and the dark circles under the eyes and just about everything else but what I can't understand is why the rest of the world while theye are judging and jurying up they're calls of duty to let you know what's maybe not quite right they don't stop and look in the mirror to see that they are no better or no worse and have similar problems or issues and give 2 and 1/2 cents to help instead of degrade and belittle.
I want to use profanity but I know and realize and accept your preference so What the Shell is really going on, huh?
By all means don't ever hesitate or hold back your opinion when confronted or inspired to do so.
As I always say "The art of communication is not to be understood, it is to avoid being misunderstood."
At any rate I'll finish this self help book later, blu...
Yeah ... Psh thats about the most you will see here for now cause I actually think some things are better left unsaid.
lol ... and it makes me laugh that once again someone noticed I am not actually using profanity. Well I figure if you are going to say something that makes you sound stupid it might as well be something stupid. I don't really care what other people choose to do I only care about what type of preception I am going to give them of myself. Which ha in the end I only care to a certain extent. Lets face it there is also the fact that I am still childish about profanity. I feel dirty when I use it.
I only hold back certain opinions because they are a bit harmful to my environment. Thats a great book you are trying to write but you know what they say DON'T TRUST ANY SELF HELP BOOK because you COULD DIE OF A MISPRINT!! YIKEs-Ninja
All I can say about that is FRIGGIN' AY! MAN, later ninja....
BLU
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