CHIN IS UP ... and so am I

Alright so ... to cure my sadness I am going away for a fun time up north lol. The UP is so great! lol or so I guess it is. I am just gonna pack my bags and go with a few new friends. I can't wait they rock socks! So ... Wish me LUCK!! :)

My Grandma gets more phone calls

So ... Sad but true ... these days I get phone calls from current employers or NO ONE! Yeah its true ... I hear some cell phone going off in the house and now its always my grandmas. Lol. How tragic.

I've spent alot of time watching David Nivins, Cary Grant, Van Johnson and other classic movies. I must say my most favorite so far is Mother Bachelor along with listening to Shawn Pander music.
Which means Listening to the echos of the rain outside
splashing off my roof top...
Its still teasing me
Still dis-pleasing me
But yet I would rather be here
than out there alone.

Praise the deli folk

I am officially over worked and under paid. I am currently maintaining my normal busy schedule with an injured ankle and lack of sleep. Last night I was so worried. I got done working and when we counted my drawer I was off by about 263 dollars. Talk about lame. I tried to think of anything and everything that would put me off that much. Turns out I made a simple mistake that almost cost me everything I am working towards. I had my whole future almost sold for about a quater. I became sick so fast. Eh... I am so thankful that I got the phone call this morning saying they found the mistake and it was no big deal. In all the worry my only plan was to try to think of some way to pretend like everything was okay. Which would have been even more stupid. I have no idea why I do that so often these days. When things aren't okay I don't know why I am trying to pretend that they are. Ah .... maybe its just something I will learn to grow out of. Hopefully. I hate the fake smile and conversations that say yeah I will survive but really you wonder what am I gonna do? Lately there is too much of that and it drives me crazy.
Sadly I'd rather be insane than chat about it.
Anyways... Today I worked most of the day and decided that I like my jobs all enough that I want them all. lol. I am a greedy little Ninja but its okay.

So I miss a few people these days. People I didn't even know I would miss. I can't wait til things go back to the same old routine. Until then I am finding myself looking for company in the strangest places. I walk in to buy an iced tea and have a long conversation with the deli manager. What the heck? If thats not sad... I really don't know what is but life just wouldn't be the same for most people without the deli folk so .... Hats off to them. I just mean I have found myself in a kinda tough situation missing people who already have families... which I am not a part of ... lol and missing people who obviously aren't really thinking the same of me. Soon enough it will all change again... but hey if you find yourself bored and lonely just go find your local deli friends. They are really caring. Well ... thats that for now.

Oysters and Pearls

This week I have really been thinking about something that was shared with me from an amazing friend of mine. My friend loves Jimmy Buffet and there was a song which really stuck with me. The chorus lyrics go Some people love to lead And some refuse to dance.Some play it safely, other take a chance.Still it's all a mysteryThis place we call the world
Where most live as oysters While some become pearls.
Some never fade away, some crash and burnSome make the world go round, other watch it turn.Still it's all a mysteryThis place we call the world.Most are fine as oystersWhile some become pearls.

Lately its the only thing I think about in my spare time. I've been so busy being okay with being an oyster that I need to learn that not everyone can become a pearl. I on the other hand am very capable and I gotta always remember that. So thanks a million. :)
Without simple little reminders like these I don't know where I would be.
Rock on JIMMY BUFFET!